


How (Not) to Get With Your Crush

by tasteofsummersnow



Series: In Love with the Salt of You [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (he's also the star of the show but don't tell YahaShira), Alternate Universe - College/University, Japanese & English Literature Student!Yahaba, Kawanishi is a meddling meddler who meddles, Let me introduce you to KawaYaha: the friendship you didn't know you needed, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Yahaba Shigeru, Yahaba makes stupid life choices (but then again so does Shirabu), side KawaGoshi, the self-indulgent roommate!AU returns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23597506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tasteofsummersnow/pseuds/tasteofsummersnow
Summary: Yahaba’s frown deepens, and finally he huffs a sigh. “Maybe I am in love with Shirabu, so what?”“Good. That’s good. That means you can help me. And I can help you,” Kawanishi says, as if that’s supposed to make any sense to Yahaba.“What the heck are you talking about?” he asks suspiciously.“I’m talking about the fact that Kenjirou has interrupted the last four out of my five dates to whine about you. If I have to listen to him talk about how “fucking cute” your smile is with your “stupid dimples” and how he could “look at it all day long without ever getting bored” one more time when I’m supposed to be making out with my boyfriend, Iwillthrow him out of the nearest window!”---Or: the one where Yahaba makes one too many assumptions and is spectacularly bad at asking people out, Shirabu runs away from his feelings, and Kawanishi is doneTM
Relationships: Shirabu Kenjirou/Yahaba Shigeru
Series: In Love with the Salt of You [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1532384
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	How (Not) to Get With Your Crush

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AU Mer-Maid (neonstardust)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neonstardust/gifts).



> This fic will give you Yahaba’s POV on what happened in [How (Not) to Get Over Your Crush](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21885211). They can both stand alone, or you can read both in whatever order you prefer~
> 
> A little over two months ago, the lovely [@AU Mer-Maid (neonstardust)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neonstardust/pseuds/AU%20Mer-Maid) left a very elaborate comment on [How (Not) to Get Over Your Crush](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21885211) and its enthusiasm and the beautiful ideas on how Yahaba might have dealt with what was happening immediately made me want to write his POV on it... So, I did!!!  
> Thank you so much, Neo, not just for the inspiration but for being such a genuinely nice and kind person, talking to you never fails to make me smile! This one’s for you, love, hope you enjoy it!!💙💙✨✨💙💙
> 
> A big, big thank you to [@ShitabuKenjirou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShitabuKenjirou/pseuds/ShitabuKenjirou) who helped me out with this!!  
> If you like YahaShira you should definitely check out their writing, they have the softest of soft YahaShiras with beautiful characterization and banter that never fails to make me laugh!  
> Em, you’re amazing and I can’t put into words how much I love talking YahaShira with you, thanks for being my friend! 💙✨💙✨💙✨💙

Of all the ways Yahaba expected this random Tuesday to go, this is not one of them.

Here’s what happens:

Yahaba is just walking out of his lecture on Star Wars, happily chatting with Kinoshita about what a cheap Darth Vader rip-off Kylo Ren is, when he hears someone call his name.

He looks around and finally finds Kawanishi leaning against a wall, lazily holding up a hand.

Yahaba has to do a double-take because a) him and Kawanishi aren’t exactly friends, they know each mostly through Shirabu, who is both of their best friend, but he can count the number of times they talked without Shirabu present on one hand, and b) as far as Yahaba knows “Taichi is never, ever up before eleven” (source: Shirabu, with a huff and a fond eyeroll).

“Yahaba, Kinoshita, hi. Got a second, Yahaba?” he asks, as Yahaba and Kinoshita come closer.

“Sure, I guess,” Yahaba answers with a shrug.

“Good.” He gives Yahaba an indecipherable look and then he says: “You’re in love with Kenjirou, right?”

“I beg your pardon?” Yahaba sputters, his face heating up. Who the fuck does Kawanishi think he is, coming up to Yahaba and just asking him that?!

“Just… you _are_ , right?” He asks again, insistently.

“I don’t see how that is any of your business.” Yahaba crosses his arms in front of his chest with a frown. He doesn’t feel like answering Kawanishi’s question, especially since it’s pretty much common knowledge at this point that Yahaba likes Shirabu. Grass is green, reading Kafka is horrible, and Yahaba is in love with his roommate. What else is new.

Kawanishi mumbles something that sounds like “I wish it wasn’t”, then he clears his throat and says: “Look, please, just answer the question, it’s important.”

Yahaba’s frown deepens, and finally he huffs a sigh. “Maybe I am, so what?”

Next to them, Kinoshita groans “Maybe? Dude, I’ve had to listen to you talk about the color of his eyes for fifteen minutes straight, you don’t get to say maybe” but Kawanishi ignores him.

“Good. That’s good. That means you can help me. And I can help you,” he says, as if that’s supposed to make any sense to Yahaba.

“What the heck are you talking about?” Yahaba asks suspiciously.

“I’m talking about the fact that Kenjirou has interrupted the last four out of my five dates to whine about you. If I have to listen to him talk about how “fucking cute” your smile is with your “stupid dimples” and how he could “look at it all day long without ever getting bored” one more time when I’m supposed to be making out with my boyfriend, I _will_ throw him out of the nearest window.”

Kinoshita snorts and Kawanishi is looking at Yahaba like he’s considering throwing him out of a window a little bit, too, but Yahaba hardly even notices.

“He really said that about my smile?” he asks, wonder in his voice.

Kawanishi and Kinoshita groan. “You’re just as bad as him…” Kawanishi rubs his temples. “Yes, he said that, but that’s _so_ not the point. Please, just… do something about this. He’s too stubborn and proud and scared to talk to you and, no offense, but there’s a limit to how long I can listen to him go on and on about how perfect you are. I just want to go on dates with Tsutomu again that aren’t cut short by my moping best friend, please,” he sounds frustrated and like he’s about to laugh, but most of all he just sounds very tired.

Yahaba takes a moment to process all of that.

“So, basically, what you’re saying is that Shirabu likes me?” he asks, just to make sure, his mind racing a million miles an hour.

“Yes!” Kawanishi looks like he’s about two seconds away from grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. “He likes you, okay? And you like him. So fucking solve this, please, before I go insane.” With that, and a nod in Kinoshita’s direction, he leaves.

The two of them stare after him, a bit dumbfounded, until Kinoshita bursts out laughing.

But Yahaba hardly notices and doesn’t care because _Shirabu really likes him back_.

-

Over the course of the next week, Yahaba pays even more attention than usual to the way Shirabu acts around him.

It’s not that Yahaba was completely surprised by Kawanishi’s statement. He noticed a couple of months back that Shirabu started acting differently around him. Would get flustered more, avoided touching him, but at the same time leaned into it, when Yahaba was the one initiating the touching.

It had crossed his mind that maybe, just maybe, after almost two years, Shirabu finally returned his feelings.

But Yahaba was not going to risk their friendship on a ‘maybe’, even as it turned to a ‘probably’ and then to a ‘pretty sure’.

But now, with Kawanishi’s words and another week of making Shirabu blush by smiling at him or poking his cheek to tease him, the ‘pretty sure’ comes as close to a ‘definitely’ as it was going to get.

So, Yahaba decides to make his move.

It’s Wednesday morning, and Yahaba is just back from his morning run, Shirabu’s coffee in his hand, and has been greeted by a grunt that could be interpreted as “welcome home” if you were being very, very generous.

Shirabu is curled up under his blanket and all Yahaba can see is a tuft of hair. He smiles, puts the coffee down on Shirabu’s desk and asks in the most casual voice he can muster: “So, I hear you have a crush on someone. Anyone I know?”

The way Shirabu all but jumps out of his bed with a panicked “No!” is almost funny enough to make Yahaba forget his own, rapidly beating heart.

He’s not surprised that Shirabu denies it all, even as Yahaba keeps asking him about it throughout the day. After all, this is the guy who still doesn’t want to admit he had a crush on UshiWaka in high school even though you could have seen that from the moon.

But Yahaba keeps going, teasing Shirabu a bit, hoping that eventually, he’ll swallow his pride and admit that he likes Yahaba just as much as Yahaba likes him.

And he thinks he is making progress. He really does.

So, it hurts all the more when, after his latest question, Shirabu snaps at him. “Stop fucking asking me about it. I said no and it’s none of your fucking business.”

Yahaba can see that he regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth.

That doesn’t change the fact that he is hurt, after all, Shirabu hasn’t spoken to him in this tone in over two years.

But more importantly, he is confused. Why doesn’t Shirabu want to admit that he likes him? It’s not like he has anything to lose.

“Jeez, sorry, man, message received, I’ll stop asking,” he says, keeping his tone light and trying his hand at a smile to hide his confusion.

“… Sorry,” Shirabu manages to get out. “I just don’t want to talk about it.” He keeps his eyes on the ground, refusing to look at Yahaba.

“It’s fine, I get it,” Yahaba says, clasping his shoulder, “I really do.”

And he does, in a way. He has been in love with Shirabu for the better part of two years now and talking about it is… not exactly fun. At least not the part where he has to wonder if his feelings are going to ruin their friendship.

But it’s not like Shirabu has to worry about that. The only thing more Yahaba could do to let him know how absolutely, ridiculously in love with him he is, is shout it from the rooftops.

So, actually, no, he doesn’t get it, but he respects Shirabu’s request and stops asking.

-

He stops asking but that doesn’t mean he stops thinking about it.

He can see how teasing Shirabu into confessing his feelings might not be the best idea, but how else is he ever going to get Shirabu to confess? Shirabu is many, many things, and proud and stubborn and horrifyingly bad at dealing with his emotions rank pretty high on the list, so the chances of him confessing to Yahaba on his own accord are… slim to none.

There is, of course, always one other option. Yahaba could just ask Shirabu to go out with him. He has thought about it more times than he cares to admit. Thought about the possible outcomes. Perfect ones. Very, very cheesy ones. Ridiculous ones. And, more than anything else, horrible ones. Ones where Shirabu laughs at him, pushes him away, ones that break their friendship forever.

In theory, Yahaba knows that they’re unlikely. Shirabu wouldn’t intentionally hurt his feelings. But he also knows how much Shirabu hates dealing with awkwardness, and the last thing Yahaba wants is for their friendship to fizzle out, should Shirabu reject him.

And that’s the thing, isn’t it? What if, after everything, Kawanishi is wrong and Shirabu doesn’t actually like him? What if Yahaba is misinterpreting all the signs?

No, it’s a much safer bet to get Shirabu to admit his feelings.

-

But while Yahaba keeps thinking about how he could get Shirabu to confess to him, something weird happens.

Yahaba doesn’t notice on Saturday, when Shirabu suddenly announces he’s going to visit his grandparents. In fact, he actually embraces having the room for himself for the weekend because as much as he loves spending time with Shirabu, it’s also undeniably nice to have some space for himself every once in a while.

He doesn’t notice on Sunday afternoon, even as he starts missing Shirabu when he’s not here to make fun of Yahaba’s newest choice of book.

He certainly doesn’t notice on Sunday night when Shirabu finally comes back, wakes him by shaking his shoulder gently and orders him to sleep in his bed instead of over his book in a voice that Yahaba has come to learn means he’s flustered.

He does notice on Monday morning, when he comes back to their room, Shirabu’s coffee in hand, and finds his bed deserted. His bag isn’t there either, so Yahaba can only assume that Shirabu has actually managed to get up and ready before Yahaba came back from his morning run. It only happens once in a blue moon, and usually Shirabu will tell him beforehand, but Yahaba doesn’t think much of it. Instead, he drinks the coffee himself because he doesn’t want to waste it, wondering sip for sip how Shirabu could actually enjoy this.

He doesn’t notice on Monday night as he makes his way back from the film club meeting. He finally got to catch up with Shinji, tease him about his new girlfriend (the cute manager from Karasuno that, once upon a time, Yahaba had thrown a ball towards in order to impress her, which Shinji had made fun of him for mercilessly), and tell him about what Kawanishi had told him (“Finally! I knew it! Poor Kawanishi, I feel for him. Pining best friends really are a pain to deal with…” “Hey!”), and enjoy spending time with his ridiculously busy friend again. When he finally makes it back to his room, Shirabu is sleeping already, and Yahaba gets ready for bed in the warm light of his bedside lamp, humming softly to himself.

It’s hard not to notice on Tuesday morning, when he finds Shirabu’s bed empty again. He has half a mind to pettily leave the coffee on Shirabu’s desk but decides against it. Instead, he adds about twice as much sugar as is socially acceptable and drinks it again. He’ll just ask Shirabu tonight to please tell him beforehand if he plans on being out before Yahaba makes it back with his coffee. No biggie.

Except Shirabu isn’t in their room when Yahaba comes back from the library. And he doesn’t show up, even after Yahaba has finished all his homework and has cooked and eaten dinner.

Finally, he’s staring at his empty bowl, realizing that he hasn’t really seen Shirabu since last Saturday. And they’re sharing a room. That can only mean one thing: Shirabu is avoiding him.

He racks his brain to figure out what exactly happened on Saturday, but he comes up empty. He had teased Shirabu about his height a bit, Shirabu was being predictably (adorably) spiteful, and that was about it. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Which is why Yahaba hopes that, maybe, all of this is just a series of coincidences, and still brings coffee on Wednesday morning.

He shouldn’t have bothered.

Shirabu’s bed is perfectly made and just as empty as the days before.

Yahaba puts the coffee on Shirabu’s nightstand and flops down on his own bed, still in his running clothes. He doesn’t care anymore.

Fuck.

He really messed up. And the worst thing is that he isn’t even sure what it is exactly that he did wrong. But now Shirabu’s avoiding him.

He spends the rest of the day overthinking and telling himself that marching into the business school’s library in search for Shirabu would be overly dramatic. He’ll just confront him tonight.

If push comes to shove, he’ll just stay up as long as it takes for Shirabu to get his ass back to their room, and then he’ll make him spit out what’s wrong.

It’s a pretty solid plan, but that doesn’t keep him from being antsy and cranky all day long. Kinoshita calls him out on it twice but doesn’t push it when it becomes clear that Yahaba doesn’t want to talk about it.

Even so, Yahaba leaves the library two hours earlier than usual and makes his way back to the dorms.

If he hoped that Shirabu would be there, he’s disappointed. Instead, he finds Kawanishi, who’s sitting on the floor next to their room and seems to be playing a game on his phone.

“Finally,” he says, when he notices Yahaba.

Yahaba frowns. What the hell?

“Hi…” he offers suspiciously. It’s not like Kawanishi figures particularly high on the list of people Yahaba wants to talk to right now, after all, he and his whole “Shirabu likes you”-spiel are probably the reason why Shirabu is avoiding him right now.

Kawanishi gets up, stretching his arms as though he’d been sitting in front of Yahaba’s room for hours.

“You know,” he begins, “when I said 'fix this' I didn’t mean 'make it a million times worse'.”

“I don’t know what you’re complaining about, looks like you got plenty lucky last night,” Yahaba scoffs venomously, nodding towards the hickey peeking out under the collar of Kawanishi’s shirt.

“Yeah, well, I would have gotten more than that if Kenjirou hadn’t interrupted yet another one of my dates. You wouldn’t happen to know why that is, by any chance, would you?” Kawanishi shoots back, unimpressed.

Yahaba’s glare gives way to a defeated sigh. “Actually, I don’t,” he admits. Then he unlocks the door because he doesn’t exactly feel like holding this conversation in the middle of the hallway.

“Wait, what?” Kawanishi’s tone betraying that he’s taken aback, even when his expression remains as impassive as always. He follows Yahaba into the room.

“I said,” Yahaba repeats, flopping down on his bed, “that I don’t know why he’s acting that way. He has been avoiding me and I don’t know why.”

Kawanishi blinks at him. Then he marches over to Shirabu’s desk and pulls out the chair. “Okay”, he says as he sits down. “Okay. Just… what did you do?”

“Who says I did something?” Yahaba grumbles.

Kawanishi raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him. “Well, he is not avoiding _me_ now, is he?”

It’s a solid point but that doesn’t mean that Yahaba has to be happy about it. “I hardly did anything at all,” he protests, sitting up. “I just teased him a bit about having a crush. But he got all defensive about it and asked me to stop, so I did. And then, three days later, he suddenly starts avoiding me.”

Kawanishi looks at him disbelievingly, and then starts rubbing his temples. “Let me get this straight. I told you that Kenjirou likes you and instead of using that knowledge to… I don’t know, ask him out, you decided to tease him about having a crush on you instead. … Why.”

“Not about having a crush on me, just about having a crush in general,” Yahaba says defensively. The slight twitch of Kawanishi’s brow has him wondering if maybe that’s somehow worse in his eyes.

“And what exactly did you hope to achieve by that?” he asks in a tone that probably means he thinks Yahaba is an idiot.

Then again, Shirabu is currently avoiding him, and most certainly hasn’t confessed his crush on Yahaba, so maybe he _is_ an idiot.

“I thought I could tease him into confessing he has a crush on me,” he admits begrudgingly. Somehow, saying it out loud makes it sound a bit stupid.

Kawanishi rubs his temples some more. “I know I’m repeating myself but… _why_?”

Maybe, saying it out loud made it sound a lot stupid.

But Yahaba had his reasons, and he does not appreciate Kawanishi waltzing into his room and making him feel like an idiot.

“Because Shirabu knows I like him, so he has nothing to lose by confessing to me. All _I_ have to go on is your word and I don’t know you well enough to trust you,” he says petulantly, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Wait, hold up, Kenjirou knows?! You told him? That little shit… he never told me…“

“Well… I mean… I didn’t _tell_ him exactly…”

“But you said he knows?”

“I mean… yeah… everyone knows. You knew, didn’t you? There was a girl whom I had never talked to before and she just came up to me and asked me if it was true that I was in love with my roommate. I’m telling you: everybody knows.”

Kawanishi huffs out a laugh. “You two really are perfect for each other…” That should be nice to hear, but Kawanishi doesn’t make it sound like something Yahaba should be proud of.

“What?”

Kawanishi sighs. “Kenjirou has no clue that you like him. He keeps going on and on about how you’re only seeing him as a friend. It’s exhausting, really.”

“I… but… I… _how_?!?” Yahaba can’t make sense of this new information. It’s not possible that Shirabu doesn’t know. It just isn’t.

“Maybe you’re not as obvious as you think?” Kawanishi offers, but he sounds unconvinced.

“… dude… I… I literally get him coffee from three dorm buildings over every single morning just to see him smile. I proofread his stupid economics essays even though it’s the most boring shit the world has ever seen. I feel like I’m constantly touching him, not even on purpose, but I just… end up poking his cheek or holding his wrist to drag him after me when I want to show him something. I… I wrote a fucking poem about him and it ended up being printed in the university newspaper. He read it, I know he did, and it was obviously about him. I… just… no. He can’t not know. That’s impossible.”

“I think you mean ‘that’s Kenjirou’. Sorry to tell you, but he really has no clue.”

“No way…”

Kawanishi huffs. “I mean, after what I just heard I have trouble believing it too. You’ve got it _bad_ , man.”

“I know,” Yahaba groans, flopping back down on his bed and burying his face in one of his pillows.

“Did you really write a poem about him?”

“One? My creative writing class last semester basically turned into “hello, I’m pining for my best friend who doesn’t like me back”-class. At least my professor kept saying that my “soulful yearning is very moving” or some shit…”

Kawanishi laughs, but then his expression turns serious again. “He really does like you back, though, you know? It’s not so much poetry as it is ‘who gave him the right to be so fucking cute with his pretty hair and smile and… Who does he think he is, being so nice and smart and funny and urgh…’ but likes you.”

Yahaba snorts because Kawanishi’s impression of Shirabu really is spot-on, but it quickly turns into a giddy smile. Shirabu likes him back. He really does.

Kawanishi gets up, and when he smiles at Yahaba, there’s almost something like fondness in there. “I think you’re going to be good for each other.” It sounds so genuine that it startles the smile right off Yahaba’s face.

“I… thank you,” Yahaba says, weirdly moved.

“You think you can fix this now?”

Yahaba sits up and gives a determined nod. “Yeah, I’ve got this.”

“You better. If not, I’m not above locking you both in a closet until you sort this out.” Yahaba can’t quite tell if he’s joking or not.

“Good luck,” Kawanishi adds, as he’s reaching for the door handle. “Oh, and Yahaba?”

“Yes?”

“Feel free to tease him as much as you want, if what you told me is true, he has been an idiot for so long, he probably deserves it.”

Yahaba huffs out a laugh. “Aren’t you supposed to be his friend?”

“Exactly.” And with that, and a wave, Kawanishi leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

\---

When Yahaba’s alarm goes off on the next morning, Yahaba throws one look out of the window, turns it off and goes back to bed.

The world has been painted white overnight, and the blizzard that is raging outside does not look runner-friendly at all. Plus, if he doesn’t go for a run this morning, he might just have a chance of catching Shirabu before he flees their room today.

He planned on staying up until Shirabu made it home yesterday, but when he still wasn’t back past midnight, Yahaba decided that maybe it was better to have this conversation when he wasn’t yawning between every three words.

Today is going to be the day. And with that thought he goes back to sleep.

When he wakes up again, his alarm clock shows 10:06. Yahaba is late for his Applied Linguistics class.

Shit.

Yahaba fights his way out from under the blanket. The professor for that class insists on taking attendance, and Yahaba has already missed the class twice, a third time would mean he’d have to re-take it and–

“Classes are cancelled. Blizzard,” Shirabu says from where he’s sitting on his bed, reading the book Yahaba recommended to him a couple of weeks ago.

It’s the first thing he has said to Yahaba in days, and Yahaba is a bit overwhelmed by how much he missed Shirabu’s stupid voice.

“Oh, thank goodness,” he says, but he is pretty sure it comes out sounding like “I’m so in love with you”.

Maybe Shirabu notices, too, because he shoots him a weird little look, before he goes back to reading.

Yahaba knows he should spend the morning working on his essays or, better yet, finally talk to Shirabu, but instead he just ends up fiddling with his phone and looking at Shirabu more often than he should.

Every time he tries to get the words out, his throat goes dry and they die on his tongue.

Finally, at noon, Yahaba decides that enough is enough and rasps out a “Shirabu… uh… I…”

Of course, that’s when Shirabu gets up and announces: “I’m going to take a shower.”

It might have passed as a coincidence if Shirabu hadn’t all but fled their room.

But that is okay, Yahaba has been waiting for over two and a half years. He can wait until Shirabu makes it back from the shower, no problem. After all, there’s a blizzard raging outside, there are only so many places Shirabu can run to.

Except thirty minutes pass, and then an hour, and Shirabu still hasn’t come back.

Yahaba groans, half-frustrated, half-amused. Shirabu really is a determined little shit.

By two thirty, he gets a text from an unknown number.

> **From Unknown:** Hi, this is Kawanishi. Kenjirou is currently hiding in my room again, but I arranged for Tsutomu to come over, so he’ll come running back to yours soon enough. Good luck✨

Who knew Kawanishi was the type of person to use emojis. He types a quick “thank you” and saves Kawanishi’s number. It might come in handy, if only to buy him a drink for his help at some point.

A short while later, he gets a second message from Kawanishi, this time a voice message.

When he plays it, he can faintly make out Shirabu’s voice. “-nk stains on his hands, all I can think about is holding them. It’s so stupid. And once he got ink on his face because he’s an idiot but instead of laughing at him, I just wanted to kiss him. It sucks, Taichi. I–“

The message cuts off after that, but maybe that’s a good thing because Yahaba can already feel his entire face burning.

_Oh._

Yahaba’s gaze falls on his hands.

There are ink stains on them from when he tried – and failed – to write the outline to one of his essays.

Suddenly, a giggle bursts out of him.

Yahaba likes Shirabu and Shirabu likes Yahaba, and soon Shirabu will come back to their room, and then they’ll talk and maybe Yahaba will even get to kiss him.

Things are good.

He tries in vain to come up with a reply for Kawanishi but is eventually released from his struggles when he gets another text.

> **From Kawanishi:** I know. You’re welcome. Pay me back by making sure he won’t interrupt any more of my dates and we’re even😌

“I will” he texts back and goes to stand in front of the closet to decide what to wear. If he’s really going to confess to Shirabu today, it can’t hurt to look nice.

He is just done arranging his hair until it looks what Kinoshita once called “artfully tousled”, when Shirabu opens the door to their room.

If the once-over Shirabu gives him and the soft blush that makes its way onto his cheeks are anything to go by, Yahaba did just fine.

“Hi,” he says with a smile that is probably a bit too bright for the occasion, but he can’t help it. And he can’t help the teasing “long shower?” either.

“Something like that,” Shirabu grumbles, pointedly not looking at him.

Except as he sits down at his desk and takes out his big, boring economy textbooks and starts working on something or other, he keeps stealing glances at Yahaba.

Yahaba has to hide his grin behind the book, that he’s holding purely for appearance’s sake.

Finally, he decides it’s time.

“We should watch a movie or something.”

Shirabu doesn’t even look up. “I’m working,” he mumbles, even though Yahaba is sure he has gotten about as much work done as Yahaba has read sentences. None at all, that is.

“You can always do that tomorrow,” Yahaba says, putting his book aside.

“But I’m doing it now,” Shirabu protests, but his voice holds none of the heat that would indicate it was time for Yahaba to back off.

“Please?” Yahaba asks, as he gets up from his bed.

Shirabu ignores him, but only because he probably already knows what’s coming.

Yahaba begins poking his cheek in a patented Oikawa-san Move.

And, as always, his senpai’s tricks don’t let Yahaba down.

Shirabu looks up at him with a glare that is rendered distinctly less threatening by his flustered cheeks.

“I’m trying to do my homework,” he insists.

“It doesn’t look like the blizzard is ending any time soon, you can do it tomorrow instead. Come on, Shirabu, I feel like we haven’t hung out in ages…” Yahaba gives him the puppy dog eyes and his best pout.

It probably looks ridiculous, but it works wonders on Shirabu.

“Fine, fine!” he gives in, and Yahaba’s tempted to do a little victory dance.

Instead he offers: “The new episode of that cooking show you like came out yesterday. The one where everyone gets yelled at. How about we watch that?” Yahaba isn’t even too fond of cooking shows himself, but Shirabu’s snarky comments are more entertaining than any TV show anyways.

“Sure, I guess,” Shirabu agrees, and gets his laptop (which has a bigger screen than Yahaba’s and has become their designated movie-night-laptop a long time ago), and they settle on Yahaba’s bed (which has more pillows and blankets and is closer to the radiator, which is especially nice in winter).

Yahaba has to give Shirabu credit for at least trying to watch the show. He is failing horribly, as proven by his lack of commentary, his shuffling and the glances he keeps throwing at Yahaba, but he is trying.

Yahaba, on the other hand, couldn’t even tell you what today’s episode is about.

It’s been too long since him and Shirabu have been this close, and that alone would be enough to keep Yahaba from concentrating on the show, but now he knows what might happen soon, he is positively giddy.

He keeps brushing his hand – still spotted by ink stains that he may or may not have taken too much care not to wash away when he freshened up earlier – against Shirabu’s.

It might not be entirely nice to tease him like that, but hey, Yahaba had been pining for almost three years, Shirabu could endure a couple of more minutes.

But finally, it’s Yahaba, whose patience runs out first. If he has to keep waiting any longer, he might just implode.

“Are you ever going to tell me who your crush is?” he asks as casually as he can manage.

But it seems Shirabu hasn’t even heard him, so he starts poking his cheek again.

For attention, of course, not at all because Shirabu’s cheeks are just a bit squishy and it always makes him blush. Purely for attention.

“What?” Shirabu snaps, but again his cheeks are too pink for it to really have any effect.

“I asked if you were ever going to tell me who your crush is. Or if that’s too much, what they are like?”

“A giant pain in the ass,” Shirabu grumbles.

 _Mine, too_ , Yahaba thinks, laughing. Then he says: “Oh, come on! How is that going to help me determine who it is? You think everyone you know belongs in that category!”

Not that he has to guess, but Shirabu doesn’t know that. Yahaba wants to see just how far he can tease him.

“Not true. I never thought that about Ushijima-san.”

“Yeah, yeah, we all know that. Perfect UshiWaka-san. But it’s not him again, is it?”

And Yahaba knows it isn’t, knows Shirabu hasn’t seen UshiWaka in years, knows what Kawanishi said, knows the signs he has seen in Shirabu himself, but for one short, bitter moment, he can’t help but wonder. It’s hard not to, when they’re talking about _the_ Ushijima Wakatoshi.

“What? No, come on, I’m not fifteen anymore…” Shirabu complains, and the surprise at Yahaba’s suggestion makes it clear just how very much off the mark it was.

Even though he knew that, Yahaba can’t help a relieved smile. “Lucky you, otherwise, you’d still have that horrible haircut,” he quips.

Shirabu gives him a shove. “Like yours was any better!”

“It was! Anyways, tell me, are they anything like your beloved UshiWaka?”

“Not really, no,” Shirabu scoffs before he remembers that he isn’t supposed to answer and belatedly slaps a hand in front of his mouth.

Yahaba grins triumphantly.

“No more questions”, Shirabu grumbles. By now, even his ears are bright red. It’s adorable.

“Awwww, Shirabu, you’re blushing,” Yahaba coos, just because he knows it will annoy him and make him even more flustered.

“Shut up, I’m not!”

“Yes, you are! Come on, tell me more about them!” He’d be very interested in what Shirabu has to say.

“No.”

“Then I’ll just have to guess!” Yahaba declares. Oh, this is going to be _fun_.

Shirabu shrugs. “Good luck with that,” he scoffs and turns back to the cooking show again.

It only works until Yahaba asks: “Is it Kawanishi?”

Shirabu whips around to face him. “What the fuck, Yahaba?”

“Hey, it could be. You’re the tragic hero, suffering in silence after you brought him and Goshiki together, it would make total sense!” Yahaba says with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“I hate you.”

“Not Kawanishi then… Goshiki?”

“What? Yahaba, _no_. Are you suffering from delusions? He’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met. And on top of that, I’m pretty sure he’s currently very, very busy with Kawanishi. Urgh. Great. Thanks for that mental image. And before you get any more crazy ideas, no it’s not Tendou-san either. Or any of my old teammates for that matter.”

“How about that guy you did the group project with? The old Datekou Captain? Futakuchi!”

“… I’m not sure how you’re getting these ideas. I literally wanted to strangle him for the entire duration of that project…”

“Kinky,” Yahaba says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Shirabu groans, hiding his blushing face in his hands.

“Oh, I know! Is it that pretty senpai of yours? Michimiya-san? She came by to return your books the other day and she was under the impression that you’re a nice person. That was weird…” Oh, Yahaba is having too much fun with this.

“Hey! I am nice, just not to people who are as stupid as they are tall,” Shirabu protests, shoving Yahaba’s shoulder.

“Chill, I’m just messing with you. But is it her?”

“No, it’s not. And it’s not going to be anyone else you mention,” Shirabu groans.

Suddenly, Yahaba doesn’t feel like laughing anymore.

This is it.

The moment of truth.

“Really? And what do I get if I get it right?”, Yahaba asks, trying his hardest to keep his voice from shaking.

“Nothing. Because you won’t,” Shirabu replies gruffly. He is actively not looking at Yahaba now.

“In that case, you have nothing to lose, right? How about this: if I get it right, you owe me a favor. If I get it wrong, I owe you. I’ll even proofread your boring essays about macroeconomics or whatever.”

(He doesn’t point out that – for all he moaned about it – he has read every single essay Shirabu asked him to so far, and that that is not likely to change.)

Shirabu thinks about this for a second, then he says: “If you get it wrong, you have to stop asking me about my crush.”

“Deal,” Yahaba says. But then he doesn’t get the next words out.

It’s supposed to be easy.

Just one word.

 _Me_.

It’s the hardest thing Yahaba has ever done.

“So?” Shirabu asks impatiently.

Yahaba takes a deep breath. “It’s me, isn’t it?” he asks softly. This time, his voice does shake.

Shirabu flinches so much that the laptop slips from his legs onto the bed.

He is staring at Yahaba wide-eyed, panic-stricken.

“Shirabu?” Yahaba bites his lip so hard he tastes blood. His own heartbeat is ringing in his ears.

Finally, Shirabu breaks out of his stupor. He scoots away from Yahaba awkwardly.

 _What if Kawanishi was wrong?_ a part of Yahaba’s brain asks. _What if you were wrong and you just broke your friendship forever?_

But, no, that's not right.

Yahaba pushes the thoughts away and grabs Shirabu’s wrist. “Wait. It _is_ me, right?”

Shirabu tries to yank his wrist back, but Yahaba doesn’t let go.

Finally, Shirabu gives in. “Yes,” he whispers hoarsely, almost too low for Yahaba to hear.

Yahaba lets go of Shirabu’s wrist.

Shirabu is looking anywhere but him, and Yahaba realizes that he might just feel even more anxious about this than Yahaba is.

So, Yahaba puts all his conviction and all his relief into it, when he says: “Good.”

It must have reached Shirabu because he looks up.

Yahaba smiles at him over the sound of his rapidly beating heart.

Shirabu frowns. “What–“, he begins, but Yahaba interrupts him.

“You owe me a favor, remember?”

“Yes, but… Yahaba, what the…”

“Kiss me!”

“Huh?!”

The shocked look on Shirabu’s face is almost comical.

“Damn, Kawanishi was right… I can’t believe you’re this surprised…” Yahaba chuckles, giddy with relief.

“Excuse me?! You just asked me to kiss you, why the fuck wouldn’t I be surprised?” Shirabu crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“You tell me. I’ve only been dropping hints that I like you for, what, two years now?” It might have sounded reproachful if Yahaba hadn’t said it with a big, happy grin on his face.

“You… have?”

Yahaba looks at him, disbelieving and incredibly fond. _I’m so in love with this idiot_.

“Yes!!” he all but shouts. “I tried to bake a cake for your birthday. I let you steal my cookies and I’ve even started buying your favorite brand even though the white chocolate chips are a crime against nature. I went to that super-smelly sewage museum with you even though I wasn’t the one who had to write an essay about it. I think… I think I told you that you’re the most beautiful person I ever met at Ennoshita’s birthday party but honestly, the memories are a bit hazy and you were worse off than me, so you probably don’t remember. Still, I… I’m literally constantly touching you. Have you ever seen me cuddle up to Shinji the way I do with you?”

“Oh…” is all Shirabu brings out. Yahaba can almost hear the gears in his brain turning.

Yahaba tries to help him along. “Do you think I brave the coffee-craze three dorm buildings over every morning for all my friends?”

“Wait, what? Three buildings over? What?” Shirabu looks puzzled. Could it be that he hadn’t known?

“Yeah. I… I know you don’t like the coffee made by the coffee machines in our building, so I’m always getting it in Shinji’s building instead. He used to let me in every morning but at some point, he just got me a key card to the building...” Yahaba rubs a hand over his neck, smiling at him sheepishly. Saying it out loud makes him sound like a besotted idiot. But hey, that’s not exactly wrong, and if it will finally make Shirabu _see_ , then Yahaba can live with a bit of embarrassment.

“I didn’t know that… What the hell, Yahaba? It’s just coffee, the one from downstairs is fine, idiot.”

Yahaba snorts. “It’s coffee. There is no way it’s ever fine. But, you know, I like the way you smile when you actually enjoy it.”

For a moment, they’re just looking at each other, wide-eyed, then they both turn away groaning.

“I can’t believe you just said that, you fucking sap”, Shirabu says, hiding his face in his hands as if that is going to make his blush any less obvious.

“I didn’t _mean_ to, it just slipped out. Forget I ever said that, or I’ll never bring you coffee again.”

“Fine. But just because no one can ever know I like someone as embarrassing as you.”

“You don’t get to say that, you said that my smile is ‘so fucking cute’ with my ‘stupid dimples’ and that you ‘could look at it all day and never get bored’, ring any bells?”

“Shut up, I didn’t. How do you know that anyways?”

“Kawanishi told me,” Yahaba admits, and hopes that he isn’t getting Kawanishi in trouble in doing so.

“He what?”

“He told me. Well, he all but yelled it at me, as much as Kawanishi ever yells anyways. He waited for me outside my classroom and then he went on and on about how done he was with you interrupting his and Goshiki’s dates because you didn’t want to man up and talk to me even though we obviously like each other. He also threatened that I better do something about this because you wouldn’t, and if you kept interrupting his dates, he couldn’t guarantee for your well-being...”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. He also said we’re perfect for each other but I think that was about both of us being idiots.”

“Sounds like him… So, you knew because of Taichi? I thought it was Goshiki for sure… Planned to murder the wrong person. Wait… if you knew then why were you asking me all those stupid questions? You could just have said something, idiot.”

“Yeah, but where would the fun in that be?” Before Shirabu can protest, he continues: “Come on, I’ve been pining for you for _years_. You started acting weird a couple of months ago, so I figured you found out. But then you started blushing a lot around me and… I wasn’t sure if I was reading the whole thing right, so I thought I’d just wait and see what you’d do. But apparently what you did was cockblocking Kawanishi, so here we are.”

“So, basically, what this boils down to, is, I murder both you and Kawanishi, but not Goshiki?” Shirabu says, and Yahaba can see that he is trying his hardest to fight off a smile.

Is it sappy to think about how full his heart feels when he looks at him? Probably. But it does.

“Woah, woah, no murdering anyone, please! Can I… interest you in that kiss instead?” Yahaba asks in the smoothest voice he can muster.

“I guess,” Shirabu says, finally offering Yahaba a small smile.

It’s the most beautiful thing Yahaba has ever seen.

-

Hours later, Yahaba gets a text from Kawanishi.

> **From Kawanishi** : Since Kenjirou has not interrupted our date, I’m hoping things went well? ✨

It’s accompanied by a selfie of Kawanishi and Goshiki. Goshiki is throwing up double peace-signs and Kawanishi is looking at him with an incredibly fond expression. Someone has peppered the picture with emoji-glitter and has drawn cat ears and whiskers on both of them.

“What are you laughing at?” Shirabu asks. His head is pillowed in Yahaba’s lap and he’s reading the book Yahaba recommended to him, making snarky comments every once in a while, but he must have reached the good part because the comments died down some twenty minutes ago.

Yahaba doesn’t stop playing with his hair when he leans down to show Shirabu the picture. “I think I’m friends with Kawanishi now.”

He uses the opportunity to plant a kiss on Shirabu’s lips.

“You can have him, he’s a traitor and he sold me out,” Shirabu grumbles, but it doesn’t stop him from pulling Yahaba down for a second kiss.

“So, I’ll tell him ‘thank you’ from both of us?”

“… yeah.” Shirabu picks up the book again and ends up holding way too close to his face in order to hide his smile.

Yahaba snorts, and ruffles Shirabu’s hair, just to annoy him, then he texts Kawanishi back.

**Author's Note:**

> Kawanishi’s meddling might be funny and cute in Fanfiction Land, but do NOT do that to your irl friends behind their back or I will come and kick your butt, no matter how well you meant it! You have been warned😌💙 
> 
> That being said… pls tell me that you love KawaYaha friendship now? ✨✨
> 
> (Also, ~~unimportant~~ very important side-note: college student!Goshiki still has his bangs and an undercut. Thank you for your attention.)
> 
> Btw, if you're curious why Shirabu acted the way he did, you can find out [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21885211)
> 
> If you want to scream with me about Haikyuu!! hmu on tumblr [@tasteofsummersnow](https://tasteofsummersnow.tumblr.com/)


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